The Amazing Adventures Of Us
by KateMonster
Summary: How Ryan and Seth became friends - all over again. The missing piece between "The Heartbreak" and "The Telenovela".


The Amazing Adventures Of Us

By Kate Monster

Rating:  PG

Summary:  In "The Heartbreak", Ryan still seemed wary of Seth.  In "The Telenovela", things were back to normal.  When did he come around?  This is when.

Disclaimer:  Josh Schwartz's magnificently created characters, which I'm just taking out on a loan.

Thanks and apologies to R.T., who will definitely never read this.  Also thanks to Maud for being My First Beta!

**February 15, 2004.  9:21 a.m.**

Most Sunday mornings, round about this time, he'd roll into the house to scrounge up some breakfast.  There was the thick Sunday sports section to be digested, and since no doubt Kirsten would be exhausted from the dance the night before, he figured there was a chance she'd cave in and order brunch from Tiny Grill, which was one of his favorites.  He was seriously hooked on the peach butter that they always sent in the little plastic cups with lids on them, and was capable of devouring an entire loaf of bread if it had the peach butter on it.  Even when he thought he was full.

But today?  He just wasn't feeling it.

He'd searched his CD collection, the dozens of CD's in identical packages, mostly burned off of Seth's collection during all-night sessions up in Seth's room, hours of playing song after song and approving or rejecting them for his personal library.  Now he was searching for anything that would keep him from thinking of _her_.  Rooney?  Forget it.  Death Cab?  Long, painful car rides to Mexico.  It seemed like every song he'd picked had something to do with her, because maybe, just maybe, he'd been a little bit obsessed for the past few months.  He finally hit play on the CD player and the sounds of Macy Gray came out.  He didn't remember putting that CD in there, but there it was, and it could be worse.

At least it didn't remind him of anything.

Ryan settled back comfortably against the throw pillows on the bed and carefully cracked open the paperback copy of Kavalier and Clay he'd been working on since Christmas.  Chrismukkah.  Whatever.

He didn't exactly relate to Josef so far, but he could see what Seth was getting at.  Except - Josef was too eager.  Too accepting.  But that had been Ryan.  Once.  There'd been a time when he thought he and Seth could maybe be that close forever.  That maybe Seth was somebody he could be himself around.  He could still be around Seth, but now he saw through the cracks again.

The words spun before his eyes.  It was too early to read, and he'd been doing too much reading lately.  He'd done just about all his homework for the weekend already.  Finally, he was caught up with the work he missed during his suspension.  But as a result?  He was pretty much read out.

Ryan set the book to the side and stared up at the ceiling.  It always ended this way.  He used to think, when he was younger, that he could be himself around Theresa.  Until that day when things just didn't work out, and all of a sudden they couldn't talk to each other anymore.

Romance, fortunately, wasn't an issue with Seth.  Plus, Theresa aside, all the guys Ryan had hung around with before Newport had been older.  They were too cool, too suave to have Dynasty Warriors 4 championship tournaments, or spend hours engaged in comic book reading marathons, or popcorn fights, or races on the boardwalk.  They were too cool to ever be caught dead scaring seagulls on the pier, or snorkeling in the hot tub with their eyelids burning, or trying to teach Ryan how to use chopsticks.  They would never think of getting buzzed on just Mountain Dew and playing Dance Dance Revolution, or scouring every record store in Orange County looking for Earlimart on vinyl, or staying up all night watching every Star Trek movie, back to back, having circular arguments about Picard and Kirk.

None of the guys Ryan used to know were as much fun as Seth.

At least they'd gotten through the whole awkward trust issue.  They were still friends.  But something was missing.  Ryan got that, even if Seth didn't.  Seth, just like everybody else, wanted everything to go back to normal.  Ryan wanted everything to go back to normal, too, but he at least understood that - it couldn't.  Not now.  Now, Ryan was sick and tired of having to forgive everybody and everything.  He didn't - he couldn't - there was a part of Seth that didn't believe him, and, well, Ryan remembered that, even if Seth didn't.

Really, it was okay.  Seth was preoccupied with the girl thing now.  Yet again.  Ryan had seen her at three a.m., sneaking out the back door, which was really stupid considering it took her right by the master bedroom _and_ the pool house.  But then, Ryan didn't think that Summer was the brightest bulb in the batch.  So if Seth was preoccupied now that he had his lobster, then that really was okay, too.  It meant less time for him to spend being awkward with Ryan.

Absent-mindedly, Ryan slipped to the floor and started a push-up series, rising and falling with the music, every other beat.

_And it's clear_

_It's obviously_

_This is not the place I'm supposed to be_

One... two...  Marissa, so upset at him rejecting her again...  Three... four...  Should he have just said okay?  He'd have at least gotten an easy lay.  But the aftermath... Five...  In rhythm to the music.

_On and on and on I've searched_

_What I'm looking for is not here on earth_

_I can't stand_

_I can't take no more_

_So I know _

_That I gotta go_

What _was_ Theresa doing in Newport, on Valentine's Day?  Six, seven, eight...  best not to dwell on that one, knowing her...  Nine... Ten...   He was right to say it.   Eleven.   When he could barely stand the sight of her eyes, staring at him, betraying him, trusting someone else...  Twelve.   Forgotten.  He'd been forgotten.  Thirteen.  And he wasn't ready to be remembered.  Fourteen.  Not by _her._  But by her?  Fifteen.  In rhythm to the music.

It suddenly hit him that he hadn't put this CD on in months, and he remembered coming out of the bathroom last night, Theresa thumbing through the CD rack over by the stereo.  She'd never turned the music on.  Just left it like that.  What was up with that?__

His stomach rumbled a little, and he decided that he could make some toast without leaving the pool house.  He had butter and strawberry jam in the mini-fridge, that was enough for breakfast.  It wasn't Tiny Grill peach butter, but it would do.

He vaguely remembered Theresa playing a Macy Gray album in the car one day, a long long time ago, in a life that maybe made a little more sense than this one.  And now he got it.

So maybe it did remind him of something after all.

_Life was a heartache_

_And now I am finally free_

He pushed back onto his knees and stretched his arms over his head.  Felt good -

A knock sounded at the door. Ryan turned in surprise.  Of course.  He'd left the blinds down.

"Yeah, come in," he called offhand, rising to his feet.

He was, he realized, slightly disappointed to see that it was Seth.  "You knock now?" he asked, his expression carefully guarded.

Seth leaned in before stepping in all the way.  "All clear?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Seth shook his head.

"You're the only one around here with girls sneaking out at three a.m.," Ryan pointed out.

Seth pulled the door shut behind him, quickly, and the blinds bounced from the impact.  "She woke you up?" he hissed.

"Naw, I was up."  Ryan moved towards the kitchenette, shaking his arms out.

"Dammit.  You think Mom and Dad saw?"

Ryan shrugged as he wandered towards the mini-fridge.  He really didn't care right now.

"But Theresa, hot Chino chick, she was over here, right?  Last night?" Seth pressed.

"Uh-huh," Ryan said, squatting in front of the fridge as he opened it.  He reached for the bread, butter, and jam, gathering them in his arms.  "She left.  She had to work.  Clean-up."  He reached up to deposit his ingredients on the counter and closed the door of the fridge.

"She's hot," Seth said definitively.

_And I can't remember_

_None of the things that I want to forget_

"You said that already," Ryan pointed out absently as he rose to his feet and opened the bag of bread.  He heard the unspoken questions.  He knew how to read Seth Cohen.  And how to deflect him.  No answers.  Not today.  It wasn't like his answers were all that incriminating, really; he just didn't want to share with Seth right now.__

"So," Seth said, cutting off the tension.  If there was one thing Seth hated, it was silence.  Odd, really, that he tolerated Ryan so well, Ryan who was mostly silence.  But Seth did a decent job filling it all on his own.  "I know you want to know why Summer was here."

_Ask if I'm free and I'll say 'oh yes'_

Ryan said nothing as he dropped the bread into the toaster.  He pulled a plate from the cabinet.

"Well," Seth continued, "It just so happens _she_ came over here.  For _me_," he emphasized.

"Good for you," Ryan said ambiguously as he rooted around in the drawer for a knife.

_And it's clear_

_It's obviously_

_This is not the place I'm supposed to be_

_-_Theresa's face, framed by her giant hoop earrings, sadly watching as he makes his way back to the car, back to her, back to this life, back to a future of betrayal and punishment and shame - 

His attention focused back to Seth, who was here.  Now.  In front of him.  He set the knife on the counter, gently.

"Cause you know what?  We were both going too fast.  It wasn't just me, Ryan!  All this time I had to step it up, turns out she's not as-"

"-I don't need details," Ryan said, holding a hand up.  "I - really... don't need details.  All right?"

"Fair enough," Seth agreed cheerfully.  "So we did it.  Ryan, we slowed down.  And, oh, my god-"

"Does this mean no more sex?" Ryan asked casually as he unscrewed the jam.

"God, no," Seth said, horrified at the thought.  "It means - we slowed down.  And wow.  Wow!"

_Don't know where I'm headed_

_But I'll see you some day soon_

"Slow is better," Ryan agreed, reaching again for the butter knife.  

"Now see," Seth said, flopping into the armchair in frustration. "Where was this handy factoid earlier this week?"

Ryan stopped, knife in hand, considering.  Where _was_ it?  Good question.  In fact -

_Before I do_

_Just one_

_More look_

_At you_

"I knew you'd figure it out sooner or later?" he guessed, knowing fully well that wasn't it, and that was a pathetic answer.

He heard Seth's exasperated groan.  "Sooner would have been better.  Or, I mean, later.  Later for - you know, and not sooner-"

"Seth?" Ryan asked, closing his eyes.  "Can we please talk about anything other than the details and timing of your sex life?  Please?"  
  


There was a moment of silence.  Ryan opened his eyes and instantly regretted his words when he saw Seth's face.  It looked like somebody had taken his favorite toy away.  Maybe somebody had.  Maybe Ryan had.

"Sorry," Seth said quietly.

Ryan sighed.  "No.  I'm sorry.  I didn't mean - of course you can talk to me."  
  


"No, forget it.  It's cool.  You don't want to."

"I do.  I do want to talk - listen - to you.  I just-"

_All I ever wanted was-_

"Just what?  You're no Puritan, dude, I know you.  But you know what?  Forget it.  It's okay."  
  


_All I ever wanted was-_

"It's not," Ryan started again.  His toast popped up, forgotten.  "Look, I just - I don't know what's up with Marissa, and - I- yeah."

_All I ever wanted_

"Well," Seth said quietly, "I shouldn't - I'm sorry."

_All I ever wanted_

"No.  _I'm_ sorry.  You need to talk."  Did he ever.

"And you don't."  
  


They stopped for a moment, and Ryan could only look at Seth for a second before breaking out with a sharp grin.  Seth followed, snickering back at him.

_So long everybody_

_Mama don't be sad for me_

"You always need to talk," Ryan scoffed.

"And you never do," Seth finished.  "Pretty much par for the course, right?"  
  


"Right," Ryan agreed, turning back to the toaster to pull out his bread.  He smiled and shook his head as he scooped a pad of butter out of the container and spread it on the still-warm toast.  "So.  Things were better?"

"Tons," Seth said, gaining momentum again.  "It's like everything I ever imagined, but better-"

"Seth?" Ryan asked, pointing the butter knife at the ceiling.  "No fantasies.  Please."

"Right," Seth said, but at least he was smiling a little this time.__

"Ryan?"  Seth asked, and the tone in his voice made Ryan stop, mid-scoop into the jam, and look at him.  "Um - are we okay?"

_So long everybody_

_I have gone beyond the moon_

"Yeah, yeah," Ryan said absently, turning back to his toast.  "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Because when I said I was sorry, and you said it was okay?  You didn't really mean it."  
  


 Ryan slapped the scoop of jam onto the second piece of toast and stopped.  Maybe Seth was right.  Maybe...

He realized abruptly that he'd made two pieces of toast without thinking, and he really didn't have the hunger for more than one.  He tore a paper towel off of the roll and set one piece on top of it.  "Want some toast?"

"Look," Seth said, switching into a Liverpool accent all of a sudden, "I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast.  In fact, no one around here wants any toast.  Not now, not ever.  No toast."

Ryan had already caught the gag and decided just to go with it.   "How about a muffin?" he asked, and Seth raised his eyebrows appreciatively.  "So, yeah, speaking of, that Red Dwarf marathon, are we gonna finish it this week or what?"

"I don't know, man, you've already seen the best stuff with Series Three and Four.  After that it's all downhill.  But there's moments of greatness."  
  


"Moments are good," Ryan said, handing him the piece of toast, which Seth accepted.  He walked back across the room, reached for his own slice, and made his way to sit across from Seth on the bed.  "Look... I'm happy for you.  Really.  Not many guys can pull a complete 180 with a girl like that.  It's impressive."

"Yeah," Seth said, satisfied.  "I mean, back when you first got here, did you ever think in a million years I'd be sleeping with her by February?"

Ryan had to grin into his toast.  "Uh - I don't think you  want me to answer that."

"No, I don't," Seth agreed quickly, grinning back.

"Still," Ryan said, his face regaining its composure.  "Well played.  Really."

"And coming from you?  That means a lot," Seth said.

Ryan snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Actually," Seth said, his tone lowering, "I meant that.  You, you're the ladies' man.  I feel like it's all your influence.  Like, if you weren't here, I'd still be the same pathetic loser I was last summer."

"You were not a pathetic loser last summer," Ryan insisted mechanically.

"Yes, I was."

"Yeah.  Okay.  Guess you're right."

"Okay.  Guess you're funny.  Hey, I think Mom is ordering from Tiny Grill for brunch, you do know that, right?"  Seth asked, eying the toast in his lap.

Ryan shrugged.  "Yeah.  I'm not really in the mood."  He paused and took a bite of his toast, which was almost as good as Tiny Grill, if not quite.  "Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"We're okay."  
  


"You sure about that?" Seth asked suspiciously.  "Cause that's what you said before."  
  


Ryan squinted at him.  "Well, I mean it."  
  


"Positive?"

"Positive."  He took another bite of his toast, balancing the plate carefully on his thigh, leaning over it to avoid dropping crumbs on the bed.

"Maybe," Seth said carefully, "We can tackle Red Dwarf Series Five this morning?  I mean, if you're not doing anything."

"I am really not doing anything," Ryan said.  "Believe me."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."  
  


Seth nodded.  "Fair enough."  He brushed the crumbs off his mouth.  "You make good toast, you know."

"Better than Tiny Grill?"

"Well, yeah, cause it's cold by the time it gets here."

"You can always heat it up," Ryan scoffed.  "C'mon."

Seth stuffed the last bit of toast into his mouth.  "Reheated toast?  C'mon indeed.  You sure you don't want eggs benedict?  Something?"  
  


Ryan shrugged.  "I'm fine," he said.  He took his last bite as well.  "Full," he said around a mouthful of toast.

"Good," Seth said, folding his paper towel and standing up as Ryan swallowed the last of his own toast.  "Good, so you want to start on Series Five now?"

"Sounds like a plan," Ryan sighed.  He reached for the paper towel and took it from Seth, then carried the plate over to his sink, dumping the towel in the wastebasket on the way. 

"Cause I mean, Mr. Flibble is funny, at least."

"Mr. Flibble?"  Ryan asked skeptically.

"Pigtails, penguins, and gingham checks.  Just wait till you see it, man."  
  


Ryan turned on the water to rinse the plate off.  "Now, that sounds like an unbeatable combination," he said.  "Can't wait."   And he realized that this time, he actually meant it.


End file.
